Cisterns at Søndermarken in Copenhagen, Denmark​
It’s hard to think about long term goals when you’re facing what’s going on in our world these days. COVID-19 continues to change the way we live our everyday lives.
In the midst of this pandemic, it’s easy to question, to panic, and to seek only the needs of ourselves and those around us. How do we get through today? What will change by the end of the week? Will I get laid off work? How will I pay rent this month? How long will this last?
I would say it’s probably not a stretch to think that most people probably aren’t thinking about what bigger purpose they have in their lives. How will they, as one person, affect and impact the world before their time is done?
With so much instability, how can we even think to build anything? To pursue a bigger dream, a bigger goal?​
Up the Skagit in Hope, BC, Canada​
I must admit that I’ve been feeling this way. Over this past year, I’ve felt as though the many things that I had accomplished prior have all come to a sudden end, with little influence on where I am now.
I used to own a restaurant. I used to live in Copenhagen. I used to be the head chef here. I used to…. I used to….
Those thoughts keep haunting me. And here I am, living back near where I was born, working to pay the bills and just trying to get myself out of debt.
At what point do you think to yourself, did I make a mistake along the way? Should I be somewhere else right now?
Would I be somewhere else if I just toughened it out a bit longer? If I had been strong? If I had been more talented?
Then more questions come.
Does having a purpose really matter? Wouldn’t it be much easier to live in a simpler way, where your purpose is just solely the people around you in close proximity, your friends and family. Your main goals being stability and comfort? Why do I feel this urge to push myself to try and make a bigger difference in this world? And what does that even mean?
If you look throughout history, most people remain nameless. Most people don’t change the course of humanity. And those who do, they seem quite a lot brighter than I do.
Does it seem vain to think that your accomplishments are only worth something if they are noticed and celebrated by many people? If it ends up in the media or you achieve celebrity status, does your value go up the larger your circle of influence?
I’d like to think not, but society seems to think otherwise.
Maybe I’m just asking too many questions. I guess that’s a problem that I have. I’m too much in my own head. I sometimes think too much and act too little. It’s nice to come up with theories, to come up with conclusions that may “make a difference.” But it’s also nice when that’s backed up by some sort of action that truly does make a difference.
What does that even mean?
For now, I don’t have any answers. ​
With my friends Jeff and Li-Han in Berlin, Germany (photo edited by Li-Han, @doup_sumpling on instagram)​
But as I sit here watching the news, and I see those who are hoarding supplies, those who seem to just be looking out for themselves, those who are panicking and those who are truly struggling through these times, maybe the thought of purpose is an important one.
Because at the end of the day, no matter how many times I make mistakes, my deepest sense of purpose comes from wanting to do good for people, and be an example of someone who truly is loving and compassionate. To serve others, and to put others’ needs before my own.
If that’s the base purpose, whether you have long term goals and big dreams or not, it really doesn’t matter, does it?
If that’s a base purpose, then that should also dictate how we act daily, in all the small decisions that we make as well….
Hm.​​